What to Do If Your Doctor Dismisses Your Symptoms
Going to the doctor is supposed to help you find answers and feel better. If you’ve ever felt like your concerns weren’t taken seriously, sadly, you’re not alone. If you leave an appointment feeling unheard, dismissed, or confused about why your concerns weren’t addressed, it’s worth paying attention to that feeling.
Your symptoms and experiences deserve to be taken seriously. This experience, often called medical gaslighting, can happen to people of any gender, age, or background. It can cause feelings of hopelessness and lead to healthcare avoidance that can put people at risk for worsening their medical condition.
Sometimes it’s hard to recognize medical gaslighting in the moment. It can be subtle, and when you’re already feeling sick, stressed, or overwhelmed, it’s even harder to step back and notice what’s happening.
Some warning signs to watch for include a health care provider who:
Doesn’t listen to you or frequently interrupts you
Dismisses or minimizes your symptoms
Doesn’t ask any follow-up questions about your concern
Blames your symptoms on your demographics, such as age, gender, or weight
Attributes your symptoms to anxiety, depression, or stress without taking time to investigate other possibilities
Rushes through your appointment or seems unwilling to spend time discussing your concerns
The good news is that there are practical ways people can advocate for themselves and improve their chances of getting the care they need.
Prepare Before Your Appointment
Provider shortages and broader systemic challenges in healthcare often leave clinicians with limited time for each appointment. For many, going to the doctor can lead to increased stress (more on that later), making it easy to forget details once you're in the room. Preparation helps you communicate clearly and ensures your concerns are addressed. Having some notes can keep the conversation focused and help your doctor understand the full picture.
Before your visit:
Write down your symptoms, including when they started and how often they occur.
Note anything that makes symptoms better or worse.
Bring a list of medications and supplements you take or have tried.
Prepare a few key questions you want answered.
Track your symptoms over time
Keeping records of symptoms can reveal patterns that may not be obvious during a short appointment.
You might track:
When symptoms happen
Description of the symptoms and how long they last
Severity of the symptoms on a scale of 1-10
Any triggers or contributing factors that might contribute to your symptoms
How they affect your daily life
Apps, journals, or a piece of paper can all work well for this. Over time, this information can provide helpful data for both you and your healthcare provider.
Be Clear and Specific About Your Symptoms
Clinicians rely heavily on patient descriptions to guide diagnosis. The more specific you can be, the easier it is for them to make an accurate diagnosis.
For example:
“I’ve had severe fatigue every afternoon for the past three months, and it’s making it really difficult to work and take care of my kids. I find myself falling asleep during conversations and even while I’m waiting for red lights to turn green while driving”
Ask Questions When Something Doesn’t Feel Right
If a diagnosis or explanation doesn’t make sense to you, ask for more information.
Helpful questions might include:
“What else could be causing these symptoms?”
“Are there tests that could rule out other possibilities?”
“What signs should I watch for if this gets worse?”
“When should I come back if this doesn’t improve?”
Effective health care providers welcome and appreciate thoughtful questions.
Request Documentation in Your Medical Record
If a provider refuses a test or dismisses a concern, you can ask them to document that decision.
For example, you might say:
“Could you please note in my chart that I requested this test and that it was declined?”
This can sometimes encourage a more thorough discussion and create a record of your concerns.
Bring Support to Appointments
Having another person present can help in several ways.
A friend, partner, or family member can:
Help remember what was said (taking notes can help!)
Ask additional questions
Provide emotional support
Advocate if you feel overwhelmed
Just having someone with you can change the dynamic of an appointment.
Seek a Second Opinion
Medicine is complex, and clinicians may interpret symptoms differently. If you feel dismissed or your symptoms continue without explanation, getting another perspective is totally reasonable. It’s worth noting that it’s a position of privilege to access multiple providers and afford the costs. If costs and access are a barrier, consider calling the clinic or sending a message to your provider ahead of time (if possible) to ask if they feel comfortable treating your concern.
Second opinions can:
Confirm a diagnosis
Offer alternative explanations
Suggest additional testing or treatments
Provide Feedback
If you have the energy, consider submitting feedback about your provider interactions. Often, medical systems or insurance companies send out surveys to gather feedback that they use to communicate information to medical providers about the care they provide. Without feedback, the system won’t change.
Remember That Your Experience Matters
Your symptoms and experiences are important pieces of medical information. While doctors and other medical providers have training and expertise, you are the expert on your own body! If something feels wrong, it’s worth trusting yourself to continue exploring it. Trust in healthcare grows when patients and clinicians work together. This partnership starts with people feeling empowered to continue the conversation.
Your concerns deserve to be taken seriously.
Medical gaslighting is extremely frustrating and discouraging, but it doesn’t have to end your search for quality care. By preparing for appointments, asking questions, documenting concerns, and seeking additional opinions when necessary, people can take meaningful steps toward better healthcare experiences.
Finding a psychologist or therapist who specializes in health psychology or adjustment to chronic illness can be a great ally in finding medical treatment that best meets your needs.
The information shared in this blog is intended to educate and empower, not to replace medical or mental health services. It should not be used as a form of treatment. If you’re struggling or need individualized care, please reach out to a licensed professional.
