Binge Eating Support Series: Post 4
Before the binge: Understanding what drives the behavior
The following BAND strategies can help you understand what your binge eating may be doing for you. Often, these behaviors help us out in some way, or we wouldn’t continue to do them.
First, attempt to “Delay” the binge by 5-10 minutes.
Why it works: Urges often weaken when delayed, even by short periods. It also buys you some time to pause and better understand how binge eating might be serving you and to identify what’s driving the binge. Try setting a 5-minute timer to reflect.
Say to yourself: “I’m not saying no. I’m saying not yet.”
Important Note! Before delaying the urge to binge, check in with yourself to see if you’re hungry, and consider the last time you ate. If it’s been more than 3-4 hours (and sometimes less, depending on your needs), realize that it’s time for refueling and start planning your next meal or snack. If you’re feeling hungry… eat!
If you’re using an app to track your symptoms, this is a great time to grab it or your notes app to come back to later with your therapist or dietitian. During the delay, reflect on what’s driving the behavior. Below are examples of typical binge “driver” categories—each of the following strategies is connected to a driver category, which is abbreviated in parentheses before it.
(B) Breaking a rule (aka “diet starts tomorrow” mentality)
(A) Avoidance of difficult emotions or problems
(N) Navigating stressful experiences
(D) Depriving yourself of your emotional needs or pleasure
(B) Did you Break an eating rule?
Strategy: Catch it/Check it/Change it
First, catch the thought fueling the binge and write it down or say it out loud
Examples:
“I’ve already messed everything up earlier today, so I might as well binge.”
“I’ll eat all of this now so tomorrow I can start over again.”
Acknowledge: This is the “I messed up, so screw it” thought. Saying it out loud or labeling it allows you to create some distance between yourself and the thought.
Second, check the evidence: Gently question the thought by examining the evidence
Note: this isn’t done in a “gaslighty” way; ideally, we’ll act as if we’re a neutral 3rd party. We can validate ourselves while also challenging the eating disorder thoughts.
Examples:
“Did I really mess everything up by eating those chips and M&Ms earlier Or did I just eat something I feel anxious about?”
“Is eating this food truly a disaster, or just human?”
“Will eating this all now really help me to care for myself tomorrow?”
You might consider that binge eating doesn’t make things better, that eating isn’t a catastrophe, and that the thought exaggerates the situation.
Third, attempt to change it: Identify a replacement coping statement to modify the thought.
Here’s an example:
“I didn’t mess up by eating—I’m more than just my food choices.”
“Although I’m tempted to restrict again tomorrow, I’ve learned this just keeps me locked in the binge/restrict cycle.”
“I know I’ll be able to access this food again so there’s no need to binge to get rid of it.”
Finally, Confirm: “What’s next for me now?”— You might plan what, where, and when your next meal/snack will be, and when you can have this food again, or identify an unmet need.
Why it works: disrupts the binge/restrict cycle by challenging black and white that keeps the eating disorder going
(A) Are you Avoiding feelings?
Strategy: Acknowledge difficult emotions with Self-Compassion
Name it to tame it—Say (out loud or mentally):
Acknowledge: “Ouch. This is a moment of struggle. I’m having a hard time” or identify your feelings out loud. Note: If you have a difficult time identifying your emotions, you’re not alone. You might consider checking out this feelings wheel to help you identify different ideas or notice what physical sensations are coming up for you. The important part is to acknowledge that you’re struggling.
Form a compassionate response: “I can make one small caring choice right now. What would I say to a friend or family member if they were in my shoes now?”
Consider universal experiences: “I’m likely not alone in this difficult experience” (in a way that doesn’t invalidate)
Respond with self-care: If you’re able, ask yourself what you might be needing in this moment—do you need to take a moment alone, or need connection with others? Invite yourself to take a deep breath first.
Why it works: Ever heard of the saying “the only way out is to go through?” This skill helps you practice acknowledging and naming challenging emotions, which ultimately reduces their intensity. Research shows that self-compassion helps people heal from eating disorders by decreasing shame.
(N) Are you Navigating difficult experiences?
Strategy: Ground, Distract + Dive Response
If intense, difficult events or emotions drive the binge, consider the following:
Splash cold water on your face or place a plastic bag of cold water on the bridge of your nose (a towel-covered ice pack works too!). This creates a “dive” response.
Hold an ice cube for 30 seconds
5-4-3-2-1 grounding (identify senses).
Do one thing mindfully. Distract yourself by calling or texting someone, dancing to music, cuddling or brushing your pet, showering, taking a step outside, or going on a gentle walk.
Why it works: The dive response physiologically disrupts the escalated emotional state that drives the binge in part by lowering pulse rate and blood pressure. Grounding allows you to refocus on your external world when overwhelming internal experiences consume you.
(D) Deprivation of pleasure: Identify additional pleasant activities
Consider that binge eating may be an act of self-care to help you relax and enjoy pleasure—even if only temporarily. Take a moment to evaluate how much time you have for yourself and for your own enjoyment each day. If you don’t have many opportunities, you’re not alone. Between working, managing chronic illness, or caregiving, many of us may struggle to find the energy to engage in enjoyable activities. Consider looking at a list of pleasant activities like this one to check off ideas that intrigue you. Make a list of additional pleasant activities to incorporate intentionally.
Why it works: Engaging in pleasant activities helps meet emotional and sensory needs in ways that expand beyond eating for comfort or pleasure. When your day includes moments of enjoyment, rest, connection, or creativity, your body and mind feel less deprived, making the urge to binge as a source of relief or pleasure less intense. Expanding your sources of satisfaction supports a more balanced nervous system, reduces stress, and gives you alternative ways to soothe, reward, or uplift yourself. Over time, this reduces the pressure on food to fill all emotional roles, making binge episodes less frequent and less necessary.
Wrapping up
Would you like more support to explore and address the drivers above? Please feel free to reach out here to learn more about therapy services at the Center for Change and Empowerment.
The information shared in this blog is intended to educate and empower, not to replace medical or mental health services. It should not be used as a form of treatment. If you’re struggling or need individualized care, please reach out to a licensed professional.